Inspiring confidence ... not

As part of my ongoing struggle on the path to US citizenship, I had to have my fingerprints taken a few days ago. Keep in mind that I've been fingerprinted over a dozen times by now - during the days of special registration, when you had to be "processed" any time you entered and left the US (before even 9-11); for the various immigration applications I have submitted over time (H1, green card, etc.); and just randomly for security checks. But the immigration services, in their wisdom, still require a set of fingerprints, just in case I had burned off the last set of prints that I was bestowed with.

In any case, fingerprinting required trekking to an "Application Support Center," which is always a cold, lonely place in an isolated strip mall somewhere. Mine was on the south side of Chicago, not exactly the safest of places to be. But what always amazes me about these places is the complete lack of customer service. Allow me to explain.

I entered the above facility and was instantly faced with a dilemma. On the right, where it said "STOP, check in with agent at desk" there was no one. On the left, a lady sat at a desk taking clipboards from people turning them with completed forms. So I waited a little, looked around a little, and saw large signs that stepped you through the process. One sign, with a huge number "1" on it, asked you to fill out a registration form. Another sign, with a huge number "2" on it, asked you to turn this form in. A third sign then asked you to take a seat. You get the idea. So I spot some clipboards with empty forms lying on the desk where there is no agent to tend to me, and naturally think that I should complete this form and turn it in to the agent at the left desk.

No sooner have I picked this form up and begun filling it out, that I get yelled at by the agent at the left desk.

"Did you just pick up MY clipboard from MY desk?"

"Umm. Yes. I thought I'd start filling out the forms."

"Uh uh. You didn't just pick up MY clipboard from MY desk!"

*keep in mind that there were at least twenty identical clipboards sitting on the untended desk*

"I'm just following the instructions posted on the signs ma'am."

"Uh uh. You didn't just pick up MY clipboard from MY desk!"

At this point I realized that the exchange of useful information had come to an end. So I just stood there, with a half-complete form, looking at this lady who was upset at me for taking HER clipboard from HER desk. This face-off would have continued, had it not been for another lady that was processing fingerprints further down the hall, who poked her head out and told me to have a seat.

Grateful at the provision of some useful information, I took a seat and proceeded to complete filling out the form. The cantankerous lady at the left desk went back to snatching clipboards from the people in line.

Once I was done with the form, I got in line to turn it in to this lady. It annoyed me no end to see her treating the people in line with a disgust that she made no effort to hide. I didn't understand what these agents expected - you're working in an environment where your customers, immigrants unlikely to speak English fluently, are going to be confused and are going to need direction and patience. Individual after individual would go up to this lady, deferentially bow their head, smile, and hand her the completed forms, which this lady would scan for mistakes. God forbid mistakes would be found, because the lady would then rip into the person.

By the time I got to the front of the line, I simply handed her the clipboard without a word of acknowledgment. I don't know if she remembered if I was the individual she had been yelling at about HER clipboard on HER desk, but she simply stamped my form, gave it back to me, and told me to be seated until called.

The fingerprinting was routine, and I was told that I'd hear back with the results. No timeline was provided. As I left the service center, I glanced at the wall that had the instructional signs on it. Beneath these signs hung three portraits of suited gentlemen smiling into the camera.

Bush, Cheney, and Chertoff. How could I possibly blame organizational incompetency on a staff when its leadership was so incapable itself?