Mr. Anthony

All this free time on my hands has not meant that I've had the opportunity to relax - Saeeda has been finding ways to keep me busy. Personally, I think the whole thing is quite unfair. Why shouldn't I be able to get up at 11am and play videogames all day long? Those things are hard to crack, and each level requires detailed strategizing and planning. My wife just doesn't understand...

In any case, today's task was to get our couches and upholstery cleaned. I know, I get assigned such exciting things. As any good business school student, I looked around and found a professional to outsource the job, by way of my cousin's husband (Khurram). I had visited his place last week, and noticed how clean the couches looked. I eventually obtained the info for the man that had hooked Khurram up - a guy by the name of Mr. Anthony.

Mr. Anthony turned out to be quite the character. First of all, he...spoke...like...this. Sloooooowly. This was maddening to me, especially since I've spent the last two years learning how to instantly digest large amounts of information quickly, verbal or written, and as a result have had my attention span shortened ridiculously. Second, Mr. Anthony was very talkative. Picture that for a second. A man who takes forever to say things, and has a ton of things to say.

While cleaning, Mr. Anthony revealed that he was a Cuban immigrant who had swam ashore over 30 years ago, started out as a butcher in Chicago, and then decided that his passion lay in cleaning couches. It was hard for me to believe that this man had been showing up at people's homes for three decades, and continued to enjoy his job so much that at 70 had not desire to quit. How does one discover such a passion in life? Have I discovered my passion? I better have. I just spent over $120,000 on education that is supposed to lead me to it.

Mr. Anthony did a great job. The before and after is apparent below, along with the cruddy water that was left over afterwards. Yum.

Welcome to the United States ... after 13 years

Yesterday I received what is considered the Holy Grail for every immigrant to the US. Tiny in size, it is nevertheless monumental in significance, as it changes your status from the "unwashed" to the "you're one of us!" One magically transforms from an individual who is seen as a problem for the country, to one that adds to the diversity of the country. Doors open, opportunities come knocking, and best of all, this Tool of Freedom rends asunder the Shackles of Restraint. The Green Card is truly a magical thing.

Although I arrived in this country in 1994 as a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed student at the University of Virginia, it has taken me thirteen (yes, thirteen) years to get to the point where I'm a legal permanent resident. The length of time spent in liminality has been due to the various visas I've had to subsist on (from student to worker to some sort of hybrid), as well as the plodding inefficiency of the INS (now known as the USCIS). And the wait isn't completely over - citizenship remains at least three years away.

It is precisely because of the length of time it has taken me that I feel this whole immigration amnesty things needs to be rethought. It galls me that rather than go through the legal process, and spend over a decade doing so, I could have arrived here illegally and just obtained permanent residence through the amnesty. The solution lies in making the USCIC more efficient so these ridiculous waits vanish.

Just this last week I read an article (either in the Chicago Tribune or Wall Street Journal) that discussed how the USCIS is resisting the current proposal in the Senate because it would streamline processes. Because of the reduction in bureaucracy, the USCIS would no longer be able to charge multiple fees to fund its operations - due to insufficient government funding, the USCIS has come to rely on these fees heavily. Talk about economic disincentives.

Still, I am overjoyed that I have the green card now. Although I am not a citizen - which means that I won't be able to vote, and will still have to face horrified stares at foreign airports whenever I whip out my Pakistani passport - I have acquired rights and freedoms that many will risk their lives to obtain. For that, I am immensely grateful.

Transformational experiences

Yesterday I received my MBA degree from the University of Chicago. I'm still trying to digest everything, but I know that the feeling of elation is here to stay for a while. Although I feel that my undergrad experience was more of a struggle than my grad experience, the MBA has been the more transformational affair. I feel like I actually understand how the world works a little better now. Whereas my engineering helped me think technically and dissect every detail of a problem, the MBA has given me a macro level view of the engine that moves the world. I feel a little like Neo in the Matrix - I'm seeing the Code behind the Program for the first time.

The ceremony was cool and held in the historic Harper quad on campus. U of C is one of the few places where the President of the university personally confers degrees to all candidates, which means that undergrad, Law, Med, Business (etc.) students all graduate on different days so that the president can make it to each ceremony. Still, nothing beat the hugs from family afterwards, in whose embraces I could feel my wife's patience in standing by me these two years, and my parents' pride in seeing their sacrifices bear fruit. There must have been a ton of sand flying around while I was hugging everyone, because I kept feeling this strange moisture in my eyes...

Our business school building was all prettied up afterwards for a reception, and it was fun lazing around outside, watching my colleagues with permanent smiles pasted on their faces as they hung out with their families. The food was great, and I even got some nice pictures with my friends one last time.

I don't know which way everyone will scatter, but I do know that I've come into contact with brilliant minds whose successes I will be reading about in the years to come. To be associated with them, and this institution, has been the highest honor, and I can only hope that I ably do my part to further the reputation of the Chicago GSB.

Long absences

So things got a little crazy for a while with me trying to wrap up my MBA. Final exams, prepping for the arrival of my parents, last minute shopping, all sorta snuck up and took over my time. But I'm back now. Read away!

A sign of the times

News of the Virginia Tech tragedy is making the rounds. Since I've spent most of my time in this country living and studying in Virginia, I have quite a few VT friends and acquaintances. My heart goes out to them, and the students in Blacksburg who are bravely trying to make sense of things right now.

It is a sign of the times, however, that one of the first reactions I had when I heard about this was to say, "Oh God, please don't let the perpetrator be a Muslim." In today's world, where a group of deranged individuals have hijacked my faith, my knee-jerk response to any tragedy is to pray that we haven't dug a deeper hole for ourselves.

But just as I feel great sadness for young kids with immense potential who were robbed of the chance to live fruitful lives, I also feel sadness for an immigrant community that has so far not felt the scathing eyes of public scrutiny. Preliminary news reports say that the gunman was South Korean, and I can't think of one thing that the Korean community in the US has done that would cause it to walk with shame. Not that the act of a mad gunman should reflect on a group this way, but coming from a pseudo-ostracized community myself, I know how these details rarely matter when the hate crimes start. Besides, South Koreans, like many Asian cultures, are a people where "family" comes before all else. It is quite likely that there is going to be a lot of soul-searching on their part to figure out how one of their own youth could have gone so far astray, and where his family failed him.

I just pray that concrete gun legislation results from this tragedy, and that the usual lobbying interests aren't able to bury any legal recommendations with the shameless impunity that they have become accustomed to.

When technology decides to spit in your eye

In this digitally connected world, it is cliche to state that we have developed a dependence on technology. Without our handy gadgets, life becomes a drain on our energy. Tasks that would normally take 10 seconds start taking ... *gasp* ... 15 seconds. Impersonal email must be replaced with, heaven forbid, a personal phone call should the server ever go down. Life's pictures must be captured in our mind's eye rather than our dinky cell phone's crappy camera.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not a luddite by any means. I love my tech toys, and although I'm not the first wave of adopters, I'm usually not far behind with things. But today technology sat up and spat in my eye, and has left me pseudo-paralyzed.

First, my Palm Pilot died. Actually, this had happened last month when, in a sheer stroke of genius, I decided to plug its charger into a Hong Kong outlet without using an adapter first. I couldn't hear the thing frying with the surge of electricity, but I may as well have.

Second, my cell phone died three days ago. Not it's fault, actually. The two of us have done battle together over the years, and unfortunately the scars were too many for it to bear. Put aside the fact that it is one of the only phones around that ONLY makes phone calls (that's right, no camera do-hickey, no color screens, no crazy games), even so it was only being held together by my wife's hair band, literally. You see, when I dropped it for the 100th time a little while ago, its battery pack came loose, and I needed something to hold the thing together. See for yourself.

But the worst event of all happened two days ago. My hard drive crashed. Just like that - without any crazy shenanigans on my part. The laptop simply refused to reboot. In a panic, I took it to the Geek Squad today, who after overcharging me told me that there was nothing they could do.

My life is on that computer. Which is why I take regular monthly backups to an external hard drive. That alone would have meant all was ok with the world. However, I've been working on this 10 page paper for one of my Hong Kong classes that is due tomorrow, and most of the work on it was done over the last week. So I hadn't gotten around to backing things up before the crash.

I'm screwed.

With are the chances of such a tri-fecta occurring in the span of a month. I'm left without a communication device. And given my crappy memory, I'm left without a way of recording my appointments, tasks, or my to-dos. Do I need to bring out my hunting knife and polish off my fire-starting skills next? Exactly how much more is life for me going to devolve over the next few days?

It's a brave new world out there, and I'm lonely and defenseless.

*For those of you wondering, I've swiped my wife's laptop to access the internet and compose this entry*

The future of the blog?

What to do now? In my myopic creation of this blog several months ago, I had no idea how addicted I would become to recording my daily activities. But now that this Great Asian Trip is over, what do I do? Document my adventures in ... Chicago? I guess I'll have to. Blogging has definitely taught me an appreciation for the uncommon events that occur in my daily life, so perhaps I will continue recording those.

The venue may have changed, the descriptive text above may need altering, but we remain Desi Adventurers...