When copyright infringement goes too far

I'm starting to regain my senses somewhat, but I'm still amazed at the amount of sleep deprivation that occurs right after you bring your child home. Yesterday was the first time I found a few minutes to myself and turn on the TV to watch a little of the NBA finals. As I was watching the game the telecast cut away for a little bit to the "NBA copyright message." You know, the one where an announcer tells you that the following is a service of the National Basketball Association, and may not be rebroadcast without authorized permission, or else someone will come to your home and eviscerate you.

That made me think of one of the videos Saeeda and I had watched while we were in the hospital. Northwestern Memorial Hospital is one of the finest in the country, and its Women's wing caters to a discerning clientele. Each room has wonderful views of the city, a free wifi connection, and a huge flat screen TV. One of the channels on this TV is constantly tuned to educational programs for new moms - child safety at home, breastfeeding, bathing, etc. Each of these programs, however, is preceded with a stern copyright message that warns incarceration for unauthorized rebroadcast.

Incarceration? Really? Do they honestly think that someone is surreptitiously copying a breastfeeding video, smuggling it out of the country, and distributing it in the shady alleyways of Shenzhen, China? I can just picture it now: a highly organized ring of smugglers gets one of their female members pregnant, just so they get access to Northwestern's post-partum rooms, where a pretend "father" whips out a videocamera the moment the nurses leave, and quickly starts taping the images on the TV.

I'd feel bad for whoever buys the end product. Not only would they be getting an obsolete movie (is there really anyone in the world who thinks breastfeeding is a bad idea?), but they'd be getting a bad 90's version. The episode we watched sounded like it had been recorded down a toilet, with a horrible soundtrack and voiceover. All the women in the episode were wearing silly dresses with stuffed shoulder pads, and sported huge hairdos that I was convinced contained a spare change of diapers and a baby bottle or two.

Anyone watching on the other side of the world would be too distracted by the makeup on these women to focus on the breastfeeding and learn anything useful. But perhaps its because of this that Northwestern puts that warning in the beginning of its programs. You see, they've probably realized what a crappy video they've created, and would rather that their mistakes not be broadcast throughout the world.