How to screw up an important presentation

My friend Kunal and I recently gave an important presentation to a group of senior leaders at Abbott. This presentation marked the culmination of several weeks worth of furious work, and was designed to get buy-in from upper-management for an initiative our teams had been working on. There were several reasons that this presentation was critical:

1. The project promised to bring attractive revenue to Abbott, and as such was a topic of interest to upper-management - one that had to be presented in a precise, methodical, and detailed manner.
2. The collaboration between our two teams (mine and Kunal's) had yielded great results, and we wanted to highlight the potential to work on future projects in the same manner.
   
3. This was an opportunity for Kunal and I to shine, impressing our seniors with the thoroughness of our work, and thereby enhancing our visibility within the circles we moved in.

So this is how the presentation unfolded:

• On the elevator ride down to the meeting room Kunal turned to me and wondered if there was going to be a projector in the room. I realized I had not bothered to check.
• Kunal and I arrived late to the presentation. All senior leaders were already present and seated around the table, waiting for us. Our tardiness was a result of getting pulled-in at the last minute to make changes to our presentation slides. Changes that we should have reviewed with our immediate managers hours (if not days) before the meeting.
• There was no projector in the room. We did not have printouts for our slides.
• Upon seeing the assembled management team, I decided to busy myself with introductions, as Kunal agreed to go hunt for a projector. Before the door closed behind him, I saw him run frantically in a circle outside the meeting room, before sprinting towards the elevator. Where he was going, I had no idea, but I now had to stall until he returned.
  
• I decided to introduce myself to everyone in the room, but this didn't take long. Naturally, I then decided to introduce everyone to everyone else, not thinking how many of these individuals already knew each other.
• With introductions complete, I started to wonder if I should break out into an interpretive dance routine when I was mercifully saved - one of the managers asked if anyone else had heard about Abbott's"greening initiative and the drive to cut down on printer paper waste."
  
• For the next ten minutes I became the most inquisitive student of the environmental impact of Abbott's printing output. I passionately wanted to understand why such an initiative had not been implemented earlier. I asked questions both simple and complex. I took notes. I brought up philosophical and political objections. I think I started losing people when I made the topic a metaphor for the search for extraterrestrial life.
• We were now fifteen minutes past the meeting start time, when God took mercy on my soul, and in ran Kunal, sweaty, out of breath, and with shirt untucked. Who he had killed to obtain the projector, I did not know, and did not care. My life depended on getting the presentation going.
• The power cord for the projector now had to be snaked under the table, between the legs of the assembled party, and into the outlet that lay embedded in the floor, positioned conveniently under the exact center of the table. I think I tackled aside the Alliance Management Director for Oncology in my eagerness to get that cord plugged in.
• As I wove my way, on hands and knees, between the legs of people that could fire me without skipping a beat, I had a sickening realization. The power cord was not long enough to make it to the outlet
• I re-emerged from beneath the table, dust bunnies hanging from my face, only to see Kunal's hopeful face turn despondent as I shook my head.
• Kunal and I then scrambled to reposition the projector precariously on the side of the table closest to a wall outlet. This meant pushing aside the Director of International Business Development and stretching the power cord taut so that it just made it to the wall. With the projector supported on the table in a Rube Goldberg-esque manner, and with its power cord stretched at waist-high level to the wall outlet, we had succeeded in effectively blocking all exit from the room.
• All attention now moved to powering on the projector. In our hurry, we pressed the On/Off button multiple times, so that the projector kept powering on and powering down. Kunal and I glared at each other as our hands performed kung-fu techniques on the projector in a vain attempt to get it turned on. Being the more gracious person, I decided to cede and sat down - no sooner had I done so than Kunal succeeded in turning on the infernal device.
  
• We had never hooked up our laptops to the version of projector in front of us, so another five minutes ticked off the clock as we attempted to bring the slides up on the screen in the room. A picture would appear on the projection screen for a fleeting second, vanish, then reappear, all as Kunal pressed the correct key combination, followed immediately by the wrong key combination in an attempt to get things started.
  
• Just as I began to mentally calculate how many months of savings I had stashed away, and what non-essential expenses my wife and I could cut away to stretch until I found a new job, Kunal's face lit up. The presentation was on the screen, and we were ready to roll.

Trying our best to ignore all that had happened up to that point, Kunal and I launched into a scripted delivery that ... was irrelevant. We realized that we had changed just enough information in the half hour before the presentation that each slide kept throwing us off our intended message.

I honestly don't know how we made it through that hour. However, despite our miserable start we must have said something right, because as we sat slumped in our chairs, exhausted and relieved that we had finished, our managers congratulated us on a job well done. It was all I could do not to break out into tears right there and then. As I wiped at the welling moisture in my eyes I silently thanked God for continuing to provide a few more weeks worth of paychecks. Thank you God. Thank you.